Comments on: How to Stop Hating Yourself for Past Mistakes https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-stop-hating-yourself-for-past-mistakes/ Have The Love Life You Want Sat, 08 May 2021 20:21:26 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.6.1 By: Tomas https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-stop-hating-yourself-for-past-mistakes/#comment-1112835 Sat, 08 May 2021 20:21:26 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=25024#comment-1112835 Hello Matthew

My name is Tomas and I am 26 years old. I recently found your youtube channel and it helped me a lot. But still, I could not find the solution to my problem. My problem and question is that I had a (girl) – frined as a friend with benefits for a half year. We both were hurt from the previous relationship so we did not want to start something new but only have fun but eventually, we fell in love. We both were so stubborn that we did not tell each other even we were talking about everything yet not about the feelings that we had for each other. Eventually, she said it is over and I admitted that I am in love with her and she said that it is too late she was in love too but I did not do anything while we were the only friends with benefits. She moved on kind of quickly and starting seeing a new guy and I am still deep in love with her and I see her almost every day. I am not sure how to overcome that pain and stop being in love with her. We were not in a relationship and we did not even try it. We did not do anything bad to each other except we did not say anything about our feeling. Now she and I want to be still friends and I am pretending that everything is OK yet it is not and it hurt me a lot to look at her every day. Is it a good idea to stay a friend with her and that pain will eventually go away or should I just give up completely on her and not even talking to her. And I hate myself for it. I hate myself that I did not do the first move and that I did not see the little things she was doing to let me know that she is also in love with me. And I do not know how to let that feeling go away that If I would do it differently then we would be together.

Have a great day

]]> By: Prisca Nobukhosi https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-stop-hating-yourself-for-past-mistakes/#comment-1112122 Mon, 03 May 2021 12:26:33 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=25024#comment-1112122 I once heard that “its hard to mess up the right thing”.Being in a relationship involves a commitment to love that particular person.A commitment does not mean it will be easy.It involves working on the relationship and good communication .If a partner gives up easily on you,they were bound to do that even if you were to rewind everything and change your behaviour. Its easy to beat oneself as a weird coping up strategy to the breakup.You can never force investment from someone.

]]> By: Mona Rangar https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-stop-hating-yourself-for-past-mistakes/#comment-1112098 Mon, 03 May 2021 07:01:49 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=25024#comment-1112098 Brilliant post. I’m about to turn 44 and still making mistakes! But nipping them in the bud a bit sooner now as I’ve reached my ‘have to change now..’ time which feels uncomfortable because I’ve been making them for so long but liberating at the same time. As Matthew says there’s a kind of loss that goes with it which is heartbreaking in itself but you have to believe that things happen for a reason and it’s the universe’s way of saying learn the lesson and apply it next time which you wouldn’t have had, had you not made the mistake in the first place.. I find cutting the person who hurt you out permanently and quickly a useful thing to do as well. Rip the plaster off ASAP. Accept you’ll feel hurt but also trust that the universe is protecting you..

]]> By: Rebecca https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-stop-hating-yourself-for-past-mistakes/#comment-1112088 Mon, 03 May 2021 05:02:33 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=25024#comment-1112088 You make it sound like anyone could be with anyone provided they had developed enough of the skills you recommend. But it’s not true. Socio-economic background, life goals, interest in a relationship- so many things come into play, ie your personality. I know you agree otherwise one magic message would score 100% replies.

People don’t generally break up with their partner, even of 6 weeks, over one small action. It’s many actions, or a bad fit personality-wise.

The way I see it is MH is a pro at advice for building attraction, confidence, communication, self respect, but these are skills. They’re not your personality.

She wasn’t right for not because you stuffed up one thing. She’s not right because she can see something in your personalities not aligning. Get back out there and find the girl who digs you for your personality while you continue to develop MH skills.

]]> By: Ro https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-stop-hating-yourself-for-past-mistakes/#comment-1112072 Mon, 03 May 2021 02:49:40 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=25024#comment-1112072 Precise, concise, to the point
Finally I learnt we can only control our thoughts and our actions
Thank you for sharing your brillant mind

]]> By: Bridget Bond https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-stop-hating-yourself-for-past-mistakes/#comment-1112064 Sun, 02 May 2021 23:48:37 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=25024#comment-1112064 This “lands”. Thank you both for a great reminder…we all have our set of dominoes that will play out and keep self-loathing in check.

]]> By: Kalvinder https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-stop-hating-yourself-for-past-mistakes/#comment-1112056 Sun, 02 May 2021 21:59:02 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=25024#comment-1112056 Matthew I was given an ultimatum by my father “ enough , it’s him or us” and I was straight into stress response : fight or flight and I rationalised it as if I cannot protect myself from my ex hiw am I going to protect my children. My ex was passive aggressive sbd lashed out verbally abd then after 16 months every few months it was physical( pushing , shoving and last occasion a back handed slap). I needed time to decide to leave or stay but just dad too control away from me over my own life. I fell apart. Had two years counselling privately and was told I did not know the games to play with motherinlaw sbd ended up clinically depressed sbd saw a consultant clinical psychologist as an out patient one hour a week for two years in which time my mum died of cancer ( in five months from diagnosis to destroy). If only I had not listened to my dad I would still be with him abd I would have not had to go throw the last 27 years in so much pain and distress snc on my iwn. Why dud this happen to me. I know there was jeolousy on the part if mother inlaw and his maternal grandmother made bitchy comments and his aunties says sbd dud some nasty. I was being dumped on abd scapegoated all the time. Why? My ex finally after four years of me tolerating this suggested we move away from both families. But he never saw the pain they caused him ir acknowledged it or accepted it was wrong. I felt he totally grtested me by hitting me. But I ruined my life and wasted 27 years lost in emotional pain as I missed him so much. Did I just cut my nose off to spite my face? No my family emotionally manipulated me in every way to get me away from him: my mum saying yiu can leave him uf you want , we don’t mind. My kid brother saying do you want really want to bring children into that marriage, my elder brother saying it’s time you stood up to him sbd good riddance to bad rubbish. My dad giving me the ultimatum. But it was my life sbd my choice and they seemed to do everything to get ke away from him. Surely it was my choice not theirs. I have seen so many worse marriages that are still together after 37 years and three kids. Why me? Why did my own family do this. Because he was taking me away from them but he was my future not them.

]]> By: Candace https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-stop-hating-yourself-for-past-mistakes/#comment-1112054 Sun, 02 May 2021 21:43:52 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=25024#comment-1112054 So true! When we know better, we do better (hopefully)! We’re not the same person as we were a day ago, hour ago, minute or second ago, but constantly evolving, upgrading by constantly shedding layers to ultimately reveal the highest version of ourselves. It’s not a linear process but moreso like making two steps forward and one back..like a cha cha! Thanks so much!

]]> By: Liz https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-stop-hating-yourself-for-past-mistakes/#comment-1112052 Sun, 02 May 2021 21:25:49 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=25024#comment-1112052 Love this, so true, you learn each time. It all helps you explore what you are also yearning for in others that may have been missing in the person you lost.

]]> By: Jasmine https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-stop-hating-yourself-for-past-mistakes/#comment-1112040 Sun, 02 May 2021 19:28:24 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=25024#comment-1112040 WOW, I’m speechless after watching it. The message is so powerful and divine, and so heart felt. It really does apply to all area of our lives too. SELF LOVE!! THANK YOU SO MUCH MATTHEW! You are an Angel. : )

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