I don’t usually talk publicly about my weaker moments.
When you work in the self-help industry, everyone expects you to talk about the positive things in life: success, money, happiness, popularity, beauty, love… Well, I don’t know about you, but my life certainly isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.
No-one talks about feeling alone and loneliness enough. Everyone talks about success, money, popularity, beauty, fun…
But what about those moments when we go back to our bedroom, close the door, and feel like no-one in the world understands the struggle we’re going through. We have so much fear of revealing our naked, scared, suffering selves at times that we feel like it’s not valid to talk about our feelings of being alone.
Well, not today.
This may be one of the most personal videos I’ve ever done, but it’s also one of the most important…
Whatever you’re going through right now, I want you to know that someone is listening.
Please leave a comment on the video and share your thoughts with others so that they know someone else is going through the same as them.
You are confusing me…Matthew….Mr Matthew….both sound so strange. I could see your touching loneliness going through you, other maybe your desired popularity, ironically:-) and referring to the second, this part when you were talking about being more popular, it sounded kind of selfish to me ^^. You wrote that you don’t talk publicly about your weaker moments but you asked us to share our weaker moments with you and everyone else. Such a cheeky you are;-). I just feel like in this sense we all are MatthewS, and we don’t do it too because, you have to admit it, it’s embarrassing and uncool. It is… It’s about part of our privacy, on the deepest selves.
”Those moments when we go back to our bedroom, close the door, and feel like no-one in the world understands the struggle we’re going through” are ones I hate most but they remind me that life is not, as it’s been quoted, about ”money and hoes”, or ”money and manhoes” xd, when we do often lost ourselves in this small big world.
Matt, thanks for the brilliant video and the content of the idea. I can’t wait to meet you. I just wanna say that we are all very unique in life and that is the dilemma creating the illusion of loneliness and separation. I beleive we should be more curious about others and like to unite more with new open ideas to tap into the creativity that makes us in a non-lonely state where we could feel as if we are many persons inside ourselves and in this way we can beat loneliness but we start to realize how much we can do alone … Which leads us to imagine how much even more we can do if we reach synergy with others. The sum is always greater than the sum of its parts!
Way to go Matt!! For tackling a hard subject that affects all of humanity with such eloquence and grace. I am married, but with my husband in the military, loneliness can be a common feeling. I have followed you for quite some time, but never left a comment. Thank you for opening up personally and encouraging others that they are not alone. I will be sharing this video with many friends, (single, married, divorced, widowed) because we all need the reminder every now and again to be kind to ourselves and others. Thanks for your transparency!!
Thank you for sharing this video with us, Matthew. You are truly an amazing person.
I got the email this morning and the title made me do a double-take. I normally tell myself i’ll watch the video later but this time I viewed it while getting ready this morning. i appreciated this one. it was honest and genuine. what struck me is that you said “i love you” which conveys how much heart you pour into your work to genuinely help others. you really do make an impact in peoples lives. its a domino effect. have you heard of the butterfly effect? well, throughout the day, your honesty and genuine care of others and to share such a sensitive and taboo subject really created an effect on me. i realized other people feel lonely too. i smiled more today to the lady at the register and while running errands. I even called my sister which I havent spoken to in months due to a past disagreement. I owe this extra energy today to the ripple effect of genuine neighborly love. Thats awesome. Sending heartfelt gratitude and love from Fort Lauderdale Florida…to the world!!
This is a raw, honest and real video. Thank you for showing us, your fans that it’s ok be vulnerable & true.
I’m a huge fan. I love you too, Matthew. x ;)
Amazing, so true. Thank you for sharing
Thank you Matthew for this genuine moment. I struggle with the feelings of loneliness, even thought I love my life and I’m happy with it.
I’m single, and have been for close to 2 years (the longest stretch that I have gone. I’m 44) I battle the fear of never finding that guy to love, who will love me back. While I focus on the positive, radiate love energy, and tell the Universe my desires. It is impossible to be this way, 24/7/365.
Thank you for sharing that you have the same battle as me. I appreciate your humanity, and openness.
Thank you Matt. As I have gotten older I feel loner than ever in my thoughts. I find myself more in my head a lot these days. I was bless to see my 42nd birthday in January. A few months before that back at the later part of 2015 I was in a bad car accident. I was rear end in rush hour traffic. Because of that I have back and neck issues. I can’t go back to work because I am still dealing with the pain. It has forced me to take a 2nd even a 3rd look at my life. I am in a relationship with a wonderful man (thanks to your dating advice), and I have two daughters ages 20 and 15 from my previous marriage. I am blessed and thankful but I still feel lonely. Lonely because I don’t know which way I want to go in life. I feel like I am stii trying to find myself and time is ticking away.
Thank you Matt. As I have gotten older I feel lonelier than ever in my thoughts. I find myself more in my head a lot these days. I was bless to see my 42nd birthday in January. A few months before that back at the later part of 2015 I was in a bad car accident. I was rear end in rush hour traffic. Because of that I have back and neck issues. I can’t go back to work because I am still dealing with the pain. It has forced me to take a 2nd even a 3rd look at my life. I am in a relationship with a wonderful man (thanks to your dating advice), and I have two daughters ages 20 and 15 from my previous marriage. I am blessed and thankful but I still feel lonely. Lonely because I don’t know which way I want to go in life. I feel like I am still trying to find myself and time is ticking away.
I’ve been single a while and I’m really lucky. I love my life, I date, I have really good close friends but sometimes I do miss that connection you get with someone that knows you better than you know yourself. I truly believe that I felt more lonely in an unhappy relationship than I ever have being single.
Hey Matt!
Thank you very much for this video, it really spoke to my heart. Just some days ago I was filming a video diary where I talked about feeling lonely (yes I talked to myself because I didn’t want to tell anyone about it).
I often feel lonely when I’m staying at home on the weekend. I feel like I dont have many friends and I also feel alone with the dreams and plans I have (which I am currently working on).
I thought I am the only one experiencing this kind of feelings and I was ashamed of admitting it. I felt like a loser because I thought all the popular people I see on facebook are never lonely.
I appreciate your courage to make this video, and I feel like a weight has lifted from my shoulders. I am happy because I feel more human and connected now.
-Kalina
Matt,
Thank you so much for sharing this. I needed this reminder. I’ve been divorced for about 5 1/2 years now and have taken many breaks from dating. So many of my friends are either still married or are in newer relationships, and I’m often by myself when off work unless my daughter is with me. This helps me look at everyone around me in a different light and reminds me that although we look or seem different, we’re all much more alike than not.
This is brilliant, i at times have been embarrassed to admit that sometimes i’m lonely. I’d even stayed in a relationship that wasn’t right for me to try & take thr edge off it. I gained confidence & embraced being on my own ‘me time’ it’s nice to get lost in your own thoughts & i remember you touched on this in a video about not using things as a distraction & to get comfortable being in your own. Thankyou for this video that’s what i love about your work it’s real stuff that matters!
I have felt very alone at times also. I know I’m blessed with children, family and friends. But after 25 years of marriage, when my ex-husband recently left me and my two younger children for another woman, I have never felt more lonely in my life. It consumes me at times. I want so badly to feel good and not lonely. After hearing this message, it has helped me a little. But i also know this will take time. So I think I’m on the right path. My children need me, and I need me. Thank you for your message.
Matt,
This video has made me realize the work you are doing for others and how much you want to help. It seemed very deep and conected to yourself as a person. You are totally intune with your spiritual self and it is a hard and lonely journey but it is one that we all go through. Myself I have just realize that I can help others be less lonely and also feel myself better because I help someone else besides myself. People nowadays feel like is a competision to see who is less lonely but the thruth is that being lonely can help you as a person become a better version of yourself because it is scary to be alone with your own thoughts. Thank you for the video. You made me realize another step in my journey to help others too. But to be completely honest with you. The longest relationship you have is with yourself and you have to love yourself in order to love others and I feel you have come to that understanding yourself and that is how you are a great person to help others.
Thx Bibiana. Great stuff, so true. Tke cafe Gigi :)
Hmmm I did feel lonely a couple of weeks ago. I felt that my friends and the person I was seeing were too “busy.”
What I did instead was sign up for things instead. Signing up for classes where I would inevitably meet new people to hang out with. and in the process not worry about how unpopular I had become.
Eventually, things started to go back to normal but I’ll always remember how lonely that time was. Meet new people, invest in the people that invest in you. Wait for them to reciprocate, most times they do (And if they don’t you’re on your way to finding new friends :)
Love your advice. I understand with a crazy schedule, loneliness is part of what comes with it. When I am lonely, I get out or just count my blessings and not my sorrows.
Thank you for your video, it helped me with my blues!Being there for each other is a good way to come over it and make the world a better place. Take care.
The most fitting response is a poem I wrote:
Round and round and round
Churning , turning
Hurling
Watching , waiting. , anticipating
Knowing , denying … Still trying
Reaching … Keep reaching …
Breath
Take it in,
Stop… Blow it out
Reflect
Watching, waiting , anticipating
Action time…
Breath
Take it in … Pause .. Let it out
Reaching, hoping, instinctively knowing
Decision time ….
Perhaps …. With bated breath..
Verdict …
Reject… !!!