Comments on: What Your Response to Rejection Says About You

By: Maria

Maria — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 14:36:03 +0000

Hello Stephen,
I really love your post and it’s so true… I didn’t grow up to be a very confident woman as for my whole childhood and adolescence I was very sick (heart failure), plus I had to wear thick glasses and horrid braces. I was a preferred target for bullying at school. Because of that I sometimes have issues concerning my image and my self-worth. So I can easily relate to what mocking and rejection does to a person.
But on the other hand I did see the upside of having friends that encourage you: some time ago one of my friends “forced” me to go talk with one of my favourite musicians after a show. I was scared, I wanted to run but my friend didn’t let me, she said I’ve got nothing to lose. She stood by me for the whole “ordeal”, whispering in my ear to keep talking, it’s ok and that I must not run away. I made a new friend that day and 10 years later I can joke with him about how I almost never met him because I was too afraid to walk up to him and start a conversation due to his rockstar status.
My point is: my life was enriched and I met great people just because I was encouraged and not shut down. Shutting someone down is easy, we all have insecurities that can be used against us. Supporting and encouraging takes more effort, but it’s also what makes a true friendship.

By: Blue_ambiance

Blue_ambiance — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 17:35:19 +0000

I broke up with my boyfriend last Nov 10, 2015. Both of us are living and working in Singapore but in separate houses. We were preparing our wedding back then, i was so overwhelmed with my job -not being able to do what you love to do, overweight issues, and feelings of being neglected by him over the wedding preps..it was a sad moment..we would always have arguements and i realized i needed some space to think things through and waited for him to come around to reaffirm his love for me..weeks turned into months of no proper communication..end of May 2016 news came to me that he is already dating someone else..and come June they are already living together..i forced him to talk to me last 17 June 2016 of why he did not pursue me back knowing that we were already planning to get married and i have even paid downpayments of some of our wedding suppliers..he said i left him on a difficult time (his mom had mild stroke around 4Sep 2015) and that is something he cannot forgive..he also said he got discouraged of me wanting to go back to our country..i was deeply crushed for he is my first boyfriend/relationship..about the money that i have paid he said he can pay them back but never made real attempts to do so..in some point i pleaded for him to take me back to give me another chance..to right all my wrongs but he just asked me to respect his new relationship..i asked him if he still loves me even if it was just a tiny part of his heart and he directly said no..2years and a month of our relationship had vanished just like that..all my dreams have fallen apart..right now i have lost strength to make long term plans anymore..it was so devastating..right now though how much i’m deeply hurt i still miss him and even prayed to God to restore our relationship..the present makes it impossible because he moved on to a new relationship..i’m still in Singapore and we still work in the same company,seeing each other once in a while..it hurts so much wanting what you can never have..and that is to be loved by that one person you love the most even if that person constantly hurts you even if you are not part of each other’s life anymore.. praying to God to get through this..

By: Lori w

Lori w — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 08:23:57 +0000

In reply to J.

I am 61 and I do not think anyone is too old to embrace what is good about them .
Please give yourself the same fair treatment you willingly give to strangers.
Lori

By: jessica pomales

jessica pomales — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 02:04:11 +0000

Keep your head up. Life is full of people that will never understand the quality people in their life!

By: J

Thu, 02 Jun 2016 21:46:43 +0000

I sincerely feel rejected all the time… yes, the world has not ended and life goes on but a miserable situation… I would like just go out, run, scream all the anger I have inside for being a person with such a low self steem… too old to change now

By: Laís

Laís — Sun, 22 May 2016 16:29:57 +0000

How in the world someone would say no to you?
Crazy girl LOL
This article is great! Love it!
Greetings from Brazil!! I am a big fan of you and Matthew!!

By: mimi

mimi — Mon, 16 May 2016 12:54:23 +0000

love this post dear Stephen, you’re so sensitive i love it!
keep going with this terrific pieces
thanks

By: Barbara

Barbara — Sun, 15 May 2016 21:03:59 +0000

Hey Stephen!

You just encouraged me to be a better and stronger encourager than i already am. There are 100 reasons why i Love your blog, and one of them is that you always find a way to put a smile on my face and think “Hey, THIS is the way i want to be! Its not that difficult. Lets do this!” So thank you for being a serial encourager to me, and probably thousands of other people :)

Could there be any better monday Motivation?! :)

Xo from munich

By: K

Sun, 15 May 2016 19:47:19 +0000

In reply to E..

Hey E, I got some really great advice from the Canada’s Dating Coach girl, she said that when people act too “small” then the guys or whoever who want to impose themselves will cause you’re not going to do a good enough job of stopping them. You have to look like you can handle any shit. She said I was like that cause my fight or flight system was too wired (which is why I was anxious all the time) and to meditate once a day to fix that. She has a You Tube Channel, and she started me on the 10 minute love frequency. You have to use headphones. It worked for me…I got less freaked out and felt more confident. Definitely less guys are bugging me and I’m sleeping better
Try it seriously!

By: E.

E. — Sun, 15 May 2016 09:50:49 +0000

Dear Stephen and Matthew and the whole team,

I love your articles, your insights, your common sense and humor. But I have a question, I’d like to know how to achieve the exact opposite. I get so much attention without looking at people, it doesn’t matter what I wear (I’m prudish by the way and wear as little make-up as possible) they will come up to me and talk to me. I assume you might know how this feels since you guys are probably getting recognized a lot. But I’m not. I’m just a student studying landscape architecture. Or, I’m trying to. I can’t get a minute to myself ANYWHERE. Except for home, but then I’m so busy trying not to cry my eyes out from all the people touching me, coming up to me friendly, giving me things, getting angry. FOR NO REASON. I haven’t even looked at these people most of the time. They tell me I have this special thing and go to all sorts of lengths to connect with me and I’m a pretty introverted person. I have friends and I’m fine like that. I live in the Netherlands in a city, not even a village! It happens everywhere and it makes me lose so so so much sleep. I can’t study properly, professors don’t understand and I get that because I don’t understand it myself. I moved a lot so there aren’t reallyy people around me seeing it happen to me all the time. To a simple no thank you, people just won’t listen! Sometimes I’m yelling at someone I know from something, so its not a complete stranger, in tears, to please leave me alone. My mother doesn’t know what to do either and she’s the only family I have. It’s insane but I kind of need a bodyguard.
Have you got any (low budget) tips to help me with this? I’d like to live my life freely without going off the grid, which I’m considering…

Sincerely,
E.