Comments on: Three Ways Single People Do Dating All Wrong

By: M

Sun, 09 Jul 2017 12:30:49 +0000

In reply to Claire. Its awesome to have a good attitude, but being abit more selective if you are dating everyone can prevent burnout. I've been there. Dating can become another job. I already have a job.

By: Thuraya

Thuraya — Sun, 20 Nov 2016 06:45:09 +0000

It’s not just you… it really is fun with the right friends. Friends who make you dare yourself.

By: Claire

Claire — Sun, 23 Oct 2016 20:31:32 +0000

Why is a first date where no chemistry appears a waste of time???
When I read your article I imagined that after your date both go home and are upset that it was “a waste of time…”
If you guys cannot appreciate that the other person has the same expection about the date as you and both do their best to be interesting and polite to each other, you should consider that it is also up to you to create a nice evening or afternoon or just one hour in a café to at least have fun together like friends. Last but not least you can be proud to being brave enough to give yourself a new chance. That means that in my eyes every each first date can be a success but only in case you are willing to see it positive as a next step into the right direction.

By: Emily

Emily — Sun, 24 Apr 2016 05:25:20 +0000

Yes, yes and YES! Also, if I were to add a 4th it would be “relying too heavily on dating sites.” Especially in a city rich with young adults and lots of single people, this happens and deters us from making an effort with people we meet in-person in our social (or regular) life. I vocalized this to a group last week after a single guy announced how he kept getting matched with people he’d met in various circles (and wondered to myself why he didn’t just ask them out in-person). But I’ve been guilty of it too…

Finally, thanks for using a pic that shows some diversity.

By: Dani

Dani — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 18:10:51 +0000

Another great article from Stephen! I especially support the idea that we should choose more carefully who we go on a date with – spend more time watching the person behave – if they are from our friend circle or colleague, before we ask them out. The more you find in common before that, the more you will have to talk about on your date.

There is another topic which I am very interested in as well. What about people who are not ready for a life-long commitment yet? Let’s say you are in your early 20’s or just not ready for a marriage yet – should you go on any dates at all and make any relationships at all at this point? If yes – with what mentality in your head?

This is a question I am truly wondering about, because in my early 20s I had some relationships which were – “for the experience of it” or “he seems interesting” – but they all ended in a heartbreak for one of us, so I have the feeling I am truly getting something wrong about love life and dating, so I have been avoiding guys in general for the past 6-7 years. I am currently 27 and not ready for marriage yet. I am currently working on a very important project, but I wonder in a year when this project will be completed – should I at all have a dating life or just stick and party with friends until I decide I am ready for marriage?

It’s probably a stupid question, but the answer somehow eludes me. Since I don’t want to repeat my mistakes from before, I would really appreciate if Stephen or Matthew shed some light on it in a video or article for the women who are not ready for marriage yet.

Thank you very much for your attention guys! What you are doing for the female audience is absolutely remarkable – you are literally saving people’s lives!

Keep up your great work!

Greetings!

Daniela

By: Haiho

Haiho — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 03:40:14 +0000

Well, sometimes (not always) you just have to say yes to find out;)
What helped me is surely being more sociable.
Going out with a group is great – you have the core (the guys who stick together) and the ones who love to meet new people.
That’s the ones I can go out with in groups or just us two – even if engaged, she’s keen to meet people, everyone’s doing her thing and we’re still in there together.
I recently noticed: Your advice did sink in somehow: I’m way less inhibited to make remarks, lately talked up a guy this way in passing – wasn’t even intentionally – and hours later (he stuck around)he approached. Wasn’t a big deal, but he remembered it quiet well! Huh
Another useful thing: As I’m a reader I always have a book in my purse. As long as it’s not 4am in a club, if I happen to be out alone that’s a good balance for me: I get to chat up people, meet new ones and some I know, and if everyone’s busy with themselves or I need a break I catch up on some reading. First it’s my nature and what I like and need, second people get relaxed as I’m leaving them space and I have mine – and third, it can lead to some interesting conversation. On the book or other topics not less interesting – I’m not impolite, I put it down if necessary:)

By: charlotte

charlotte — Thu, 21 Apr 2016 15:58:37 +0000

Amazing article as always. Seriously though, you need to put a warning on these things. I nearly choked on my tea whilst laughing at some of your puns.

Already looking forward to the next article.

Warmly

Charlotte

By: Lindsey

Lindsey — Thu, 21 Apr 2016 05:33:55 +0000

My theory on dating is don't ever do it. Xx I'm coupled, and you totally want me as your friend if you are single. I may get you in huge trouble, but it'll be fun. I stay in contact with guys as friends... Nothing serious. Just a message here and there as you would any friend. If I have single girlfriends, I can introduce them. Even if I knew it wouldn't work out with a potential (like one was heading 4 hours away to get a PhD and was way too young), I was always game to hang out when it was convenient for me. That one - we have a lot of fun on snap chat and he's a science nerd like me. We make each other laugh and talk about microbiology. I'd have a belly dance class downtown so I'd ask a "friend" to get a quick drink before I went home. Or, I was gonna hit up a nature trail so I'd ask a "friend" to bring his dog and walk with me. I refused to date actually for a long time. I'd go with a "friend" to the shooting range. One guy - we'd always coffee shop it up and say really sexy things to each other in Spanish or talk about ppl and no one would understand :) That's kind of a rush actually. These were all potentials ... Ppl I like and admire and have something in common with. It wasn't all interview-style date-like, then - "I'm not interested." Nobody got weird. I never slept with any of them. I like it this way, but some guys get angry if they really want you all to themselves and you are out dancing with someone else, but that was boring and I didn't have time for it. I didn't kiss any of them. Well maybe 2, but just for fun. As long as they were cool and didn't get weird they can still text me. A lot of the ppl I wanted to date I seriously admired, so I tried to build a friendship to test them out and see if they were legitimate. I did it with lots at the same time so I didn't have time to get serious with just one - and I acted in a way that I'm proud of, as long as I fairly sober ;) We never had to break up unless we wanted different things. We didn't just rush into a lame relationship without knowing each other and realize it was wrong; I can still talk to them casually whenever I want - kind of sexy. I feel like seeing lots of ppl casually helped me realize what I want in a relationship and in friendships, so I can solidify different friendships with those who have the qualities I admire. What do you think of friendships with the opposite sex? You should bring your first dates out with your friends and tell them to bring a friend. If it's boring, do shots. Lol. You are right; dating is serious and lame and should be reserved for ppl you are seriously interested in. I'm glad we're not dating if you'd rather be at home watching you tube videos. Lol. Ouch! Technically though, you can get to know lots of ppl and not date at all which is maybe the theme of #3... ish. I enjoyed reading this. I felt like you were saying date less, hence the long comment. But I think we are saying the same thing in a different way. Keep it coming Hussey. Xoxo

By: bella

bella — Thu, 21 Apr 2016 05:00:19 +0000

what a PC correct picture added to the article

By: Kathryn

Kathryn — Wed, 20 Apr 2016 21:20:34 +0000

A single guy in a big city, aah I love the cliche. You are absolutely right, as always, but you are never smug and your very self deprecating humour shines through. Your blogs make me smile and who can be sad when there is so much choice out there. The world is our dating oyster, which the smug, stay in marrieds can’t say. How wonderful is that?! xx